You can’t get to the sweet and juicy without peeling the rind first. The past is the rind. And most of us are walking around hungry because we won’t do the work to get through it.
Sometimes surviving the past isn’t enough, and I don’t think the core of our being ever allows us to forget that.
We can’t drink it away
We can’t smoke it away
We can’t sex it away.
We trigger-out when certain things happen or are said. So there’s never any peace from it. And this is where it gets tricky because we want peace and closure, our bodies long for it. Yet, we’re not willing to face the situation to get it.
I understand, facing the past can be scary and uncomfortable.
It could mean taking accountability.
Extending forgiveness for someone who’s still not even mature enough to understand the impact of their actions.
But it’s necessary – not for them – for you – for me.
Necessary for our peace of mind, that gradually calms triggers.
Necessary for our physical being that calms our nervous system and those things we feel that we don’t talk about like nausea, insomnia and headaches.
We can’t conquer what we won’t confront and truth be told, avoidance is what brought us here in the first place, we have to own that. It doesn’t matter if you were right, wrong, didn’t say everything you wanted to say because healing starts within.
Your confrontation may never be dealing with that person again because they’ve already shown you who they were and that’s what you needed to know. Your confronting of your past may look like you forgiving the asshole that molested you or the parent that neglected you. You don’t have to hate them, you just need to let go of the pain they left you with. Even if it means standing in a mirror and saying…
I am not my past.
God help me to forgive.
My past will not make me bitter anymore.
…every day until you believe it because you didn’t survive what you went through for nothing. You’re not here by chance – it was purpose, and confronting your past will help segue you into that purpose.
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