God help me.
The more I write the more emotional these posts get for me. The tears feel like grief, mourning of baggage. I’m okay with it.
I told God that my purpose for completing this theme was for healing, and so far the journey has been just that. Acknowledgment of the weight, confronting my past and now forgiveness.
Forgiveness.
It took me a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time to understand why forgiveness was for me and not the other person. In the past, I felt like to forgive someone meant letting the person off the hook for what they did so they could regain access to me like nothing ever happened. I’m not sure where that perspective came from, but I was glad I was wrong.
Lied-on, cheated-on, dogged by people who called themselves my friends, et cetera, et cetera. I think we’ve all experienced these life highlights, and from my experience it’s not really about what was done as much as it was who did it that hurts the most.
No accountability.
No apology.
Not even a my bad.
That’s hard to forgive. For sure I’ll never forget, but forgiveness is only doable because it’s for me, otherwise I’ll never get it done.
But God forgives me with all of my foolishness so I should too – with intention. Because now I know that forgiveness doesn’t mean that I have to allow them back into my space. I can wish them well, I can even say hello, but I don’t have to welcome them into my space – that’s liberation.
Leave a Reply