Every morning I awake to an internal fight that I’m not talking to anyone about. The fights are usually three things: something that has already happened that I’m thinking I could’ve handled differently, something that’s completely outside of my control, or something that I’m mentally preparing to deal with that may never happen.
It’s so stupid.
I honestly thought the closer I got to God, the internal fights would stop or at least subside. I even asked God about it and just as clearly as you’re reading these words I heard the answer, “No.”
Agh.
Being who I am, I still talked to God about it anyway – you know, just in case I misunderstood the word “No,” even though I’ve never misunderstood it before – but just in case.
They didn’t stop, they still haven’t. So I changed my perspective of how I deal with them. I awake and the battle begins, but as I do my yoga I start thanking God for all the things and for all the people in my life.
It helps.
As I’m driving to work I pick back up where I left off with my yoga, but with music incorporated. At this point I don’t really have much more to say to Him but it feels good to just be in His space and Him in mine. By the time I make it to work the internal fights are completely gone.
This routine is easy to maintain because it’s part of my daily routine, but the weekends or days off hit a little differently contingent upon the day. On those days I just make sure God and I have some type of conversation.
Communication is imperative in any relationship.
It’s my understanding that God does nothing outside of His purpose and if the internal fights keep me close to Him, then I’m here for it – purpose served.
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