Healing in real time feels foreign and a little awkward. Unpacking the avoidance was pretty emotional because let’s be honest – it was packed to be ignored. And even though I know I’m headed in the right direction it feels funny letting go of the weight I’ve been carrying all of this time.
As uncomfortable as this journey has been its liberating and I feel like the healing process has elevated who I am in ways that I can’t quite put into words yet but something new is definitely present. And because I was intentional about forgiveness, my existing peace has merged with the healing of my past. It never dawned on me that there would be levels to peace in my life. I figured either you have it or you don’t, but I found out that when you confront your past with healing as the goal, peace comes along with it and feels whole.
Using my past as a resource is the bridge that I cross from the past me to the becoming me. When I’m feeling low I’ll remember how far I’ve come to get where I am to push me further. When someone comes to me with trouble I can share my experience to help them through it.
It was my afflictions that propelled me into what I’m becoming. It wasn’t comfortable and I wouldn’t have picked those obstacles to go through but I have no regrets because I’m here – stronger and wiser than I’ve ever been in my life.
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