It just seems ridiculous to survive our past and not build from it. I’m not saying I’ve had that perspective all of my life, not even most of my life – I wish.
Some of us made it out when others didn’t. That alone is reason enough to build from it.
It’s Working taught us that things are always working beneath the surface, and in this case our past is the thing that led us to the thing of being better parents, to being better relationship partners, or whatever it was that turned out to be a plus in the midst of the minuses.
Any time good comes out of something negative, even if it’s just a lesson learned, it should shift our perspective to reframe what we’ve been calling the negative.
Allow me to disrupt the normal by saying that
the perspective shift may look like it was good that you had bad parents because it taught you how to be a good parent. Or it may look like you know you deserved to feel all the badness you felt because you weren’t a good friend, but now you’re a better friend because of the experience.
Work your past like a junkyard. Take what’s useful. Leave everything else.
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