Somewhere Between Peace and “What Is This?”

Oh my goooooooooooooooooooood.

Ever since I said I was going to go with this surrender thing, it’s been one thing after another. I’m mature enough to know that despite my discomfort right now, I’m still going in the right direction — but still Joi enough to know that this is some bullshit.

The only good thing right now is that I default back into my peace — that’s nice.

But I still don’t feel comfortable in my skin about all of this. I mean, I’m okay with attempting it, but I’m not even sure if I’m doing it right. I define surrender as the moment I stop wrestling with what I can’t control and start trusting God, but life showed up so hard on me I don’t even know if surrender or God even crossed my mind.

There was a situation that I absolutely couldn’t do anything about — I was sad, but I was alright.

Was that it? Did I do it?

This is so crazy it’s comical.

I must be doing a little something right because regardless of the situation, I’ve been consistently defaulting back to my place of peace — which is better than frustration and anger.

I’m going to have to be more intentional, because I have to get this part right.