Within this God + Real Life theme I’ve talked a lot about how I maintain my day‑to‑day walk — trying to read my Bible, trying to understand God’s purpose, trying to stay steady. But included in that day‑to‑day process, I forget things. Important things.
I forget to exercise my faith sometimes.
I’m standing in my own way – God’s way actually.
On one hand, I know God is with me. I know He’s working things out for my good even when I can’t see how any of it could possibly be good. And on the other hand, I get frustrated because it’s taking too long to get to the “alright” part. I start talking, reacting, doing too much — being extra — and all that does is delay the very thing I swear I want.
I’m standing in my own way.
God’s way, actually.
I have to work harder at this part because even though God knows I’m not perfect, I feel embarrassed when I self‑sabotage. I believe in Him. I’ve seen Him come through like a lace in a tennis shoe — threaded exactly where it needs to be. But my downfall is that I default to fixing things myself. Or at least that’s what I call myself doing.
And if leaning on my own understanding isn’t self‑sabotage, I don’t know what is.
So I’m trying to exercise my faith by slowing down — chopped and screwed slow. Slowing down my responses, slowing down my decisions, slowing down long enough to double‑check my perspective. Because I’ve learned that I react based on how I see things, not how they actually are.
This is a tenured habit.
But if God does everything according to His purpose, then I have to make it a habit to ask myself whether the situation I’m in is something He’s using to grow me.
Because sometimes the delay isn’t Him.
It’s me.
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